Villain Boot Camp

When it comes to organising birthday parties, I’m a bit of a hard task master. The philosophy being that if my kids want a have a big gathering with chums, then they’ve gotta muck in to make it happen! So far, my tough trainer approach has only proven to be a healthy challenge for my energetic party planners, K1’s birthday bash this year being no exception.

With restrictions still in place on gathering sizes and the silly season about to commence, K1 decided to get in early – a full four weeks ahead of time – to secure his two hour slot for party hosting festivities. In keeping with his current reading fetishes (Bad Guys, Captain Underpants, Harry Potter and The Hobbit…to name a few) K1 decided to bring the shady underworld to our inner-city home.

From infamous invitations to the planning of a dinner menu fit to feed even the most notorious of mafia bosses, the weeks leading up to the big event saw plenty of villainous scheming:

Wanted!: nothing says “I want you to come to my birthday party” like a Wanted Poster style invitation landing in your school-lunch locker. Yep, that’s right. Replete with the usual details about date, time and location, this infamous invitation was also loaded with plenty of nefarious stick figures and bold (but very polite) loot-bag donation requests.

Boot and Loot Camp: no kingpin villain could truly steal the show without some cleverly crafted, arm flexing and stealth testing tournaments:

Castles and Cannonballs: time warping back to Medieval England, K1 got busy raiding my scrap-fabric box and the local supermarket’s used-box bin for supplies. A few hours later and our office space was prepped ready for a series of tactical, cloth-cannonball-firing-into-cardboard-box-tower warfare bouts on our village green. Rules…minimal. Action….plenty.

Musical Stepping Stones: imagine a portable speaker blasting out Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (…2nd movement to be precise) while energy crazed kids utilise iniquitous manoeuvres to secure a spot upon sparsely spaced, rapidly disappearing ply boards. In a stolen, golden nutshell…this game is how thieves do musical chairs.

Kitchen Garden Robbery: rub a dub dub, it’s time to nick some grub. To organise a birthday party and not lay out a decent spread at the tucker table, would be a criminal act indeed. Fortunately, due to a healthy dose of spring rains, our summer vegetable patch was able to cough up enough goods to feed our ravenous gang.

Delving into the family staples cookbook, K1 ably assisted in harvesting, prepping and dishing up a homemade feast, including such favourites as Gette Fuelled Salad, Scott’s Super Sides Me Potato Salad, a couple of loaves of sourdough bread, Pesto Galaxies and enough chicken to sink a plunder carrying ship.

Oh…and as for drinks…who needs pop when you can have your fill of “Funky Water” (lemon verbena, mint and lemon infused aqua) instead. Some jolly scoundrels even came back for seconds!

Caked in Glory: “Steal a little and they’ll put you in jail, steal a lot and they will make you king” – Bob Dylan. To say that Scott’s cake serving sizes were generous would be somewhat of an understatement. Couple that with some home-harvested Strawberry or Mint and Chocolate Ice-cream and, like kings, the party going crowd were literally caked in sugar eating glory.

Do Me a Favour: take your loot and run! Abounding with all that a true bandit needs – cash, liquorice treats and some chunky homemade treasure (Grandma’s Choc Chunk Cookies) – K1’s party guests made their escape with a biodegradable bag of goodies to take home.

So the saying goes…every story needs its hero, its villain and its monster. After an afternoon of non-stop, rigorous activity, this monster event concluded with Scott and I packing our two exhausted little villains off to bed before cracking open that well earned bottle of revitalising bubbly: Ahh…my hero!

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